How to Throw a Nesting Party
You want to throw a bomb-ass nesting party. Good news: you’ve come to the right spot. Nesting parties are incredible—especially if you want to celebrate the birth of a baby with community care instead of a bunch of gifts. They’re also tricky because most people aren’t as familiar with nesting parties as they are with traditional baby showers.
This guide will walk you through what a nesting party is and how to organize a successful one—aka what can be done by the host, what needs to be done by the recipient, and how to communicate with fellow guests so that they actually want to show up.
What is a Nesting Party?
A nesting party is a party thrown for an expectant parent where guests help clean, organize, decorate, and even tackle minor home repairs.
Nesting parties are great because they:
Prepare the home for the baby
Make “care work” a party
Lighten the load of work expectant parents have to do before the baby arrives
Make everyone feel invested in the baby’s arrival
Show love through “acts of service” instead of “gifts” (this one’s for you love language folks)
Nesting parties are challenging because:
Nobody knows what they are
You have to convince your friends and family that a day of cleaning is fun (it’s possible, but it does require some intentional messaging)
The party is at the honoree/recipient’s house, so the traditional “hosting” responsibilities get a lot murkier
Why Throw a Nesting Party?
If it feels more meaningful to have your friends and family show up and help you prep the house for baby, then a nesting party is for you. Nesting parties are particularly great for pregnant people who have mobility issues—whether due to disability, hypertension, carrying twins, or something else.
Nesting parties are also great if you’re exhausted by the “buy more shit” imperative of late capitalism.
How to Throw a Nesting Party
This is the tricky part. I will walk you through it with tips and communication templates wherever possible. If you’re still not sure what to do… communicate (with the actual people in your life).
Nesting parties aren’t that common yet. It’s okay to say, “We’re imagining something our community hasn’t really seen before. I’m really excited about it, *and* I’m a little unclear about [WHATEVER QUESTION YOU HAVE]. How are you picturing this in your head?”
Cast of Characters
The typical party lingo of hosts and guests of honor doesn’t really apply due to the logistics of a nesting party. Let’s start by getting clear:
Organizer: The person who offered to throw the nesting party. They would typically play the “host” role at a baby shower, but for a nesting party, it’s more logistics/organizing.
Honoree: The pregnant person aka the guest of honor. (I really want to call this person a “bird” in keeping with the nesting metaphor, but that will be a nightmare for anyone skimming this guide…which is most people).
Guests: The people showing up to help.
Step 1: Find a Date
This is the easy part. You’ve picked a date for a party before. You know how it goes. I don’t need to waste your time. Next.
Step 2A: Pick What You’re Going to *Do* at the Nesting Party
In a perfect world, the honoree will share a list of the tasks they want done with the honoree. If they don’t, you need to ask for it. And you need to be persistent. Here are some examples of what you can say:
“I’m so excited to throw this nesting party. I want to be sure we maximize the support you get from the party. Can you please provide me with a specific list of tasks you want done? Then I’ll share it with the guests to get them excited and (hopefully) competing over the best jobs.”
Step 2B: Tell The Honoree What You’ll Do
If the honoree (aka the pregnant person) really won’t give you a list, this is where you’ll need to get creative. Ask your guests which cleaning tasks are their favorite, if they have anything they’re especially known for (a lasagna or an eye for decluttering). Compile a list. Present that to the honoree ahead of time to gauge a reaction.
They will likely respond in one of 2 ways: 1. “Thank you so much. This looks amazing.” 2. Finally telling you what they want done. Prepare for option #2. #HumanNature
Step 3: Pick a Bomb-Ass Theme
You are inviting people to dust and calling it a party. Adding a theme can go a long way towards charging the party atmosphere. Here are some fun nesting party themes to jazz up your shindig.
She’s All That
Remember the part in She’s All That when Freddy Prinze Jr. gets the whole soccer team to show up at Lanie Boggs’ house to clean so she can go to the party? Do that.
Have everyone wear athletic wear.
Play episodes of Jeopardy (if you really want to reenact the movie) or Y2K romcoms.
If you really want to go all out, you can hire hair/makeup or a massage for the honoree while the rest of you work. You know, like how Rachel Leigh Cook goes upstairs to receive her famous ditch-the-ponytail-and-glasses makeover while the house is cleaned.
If you really, really want to go all out, get a Cameo from Freddie Prinze Jr (He’s only charging $100. Feels like a steal.). Ask him to say the line, “For some women, motherhood is like putting *on* glasses and a ponytail. But for you, it’s like taking them off.” (If he does it, please send me the link. I beg you.)
Rosie the Riveter
With her iconic, vintage style, a Rosie the Riveter theme will have your guests saying, “Nest We Can”
Send out a “Nest We Can” party invite.
Ask the guests to dress like Rosie the Riveter (denim and red bandanas).
Alternatively, you could
Play big band music while you clean.
Once the chores are done, sit down together and watch A League of Their Own. You’ve earned it.
A League of Their Own
Okay, you love A League of Their Own so much that you want to do “A Nest of Their Own.” I don’t blame you. The Penny Marshall classic is an absolute banger. Let’s do it.
Everybody wears pink and adds a Rockford peach patch from Etsy. Hot tip: you can use toupee tape to attach the patches. They will hold during the party and won’t leave a residue when you remove them. (You’re welcome in advance.)
Serve batched cocktails like this twist on the fuzzy navel.
Remind each other “gracefully and grandly” while you dust, vacuum, and fold baby clothes.
Play swing music or watch A League of Their Own.
Step 4: Nail Down the Invite List
Who do you invite to a nesting party? Short answer—whoever will be helpful.
Long answer—Close friends and family members who are supportive, and are willing to roll up their sleeves are ideal. This list should come from the honoree.
A note for nesting party honorees: Think about the size of your home and the tasks at hand. You’ll want a group that’s manageable but can effectively help with the chores you have in mind. It’s also wise to think about the mix of skills within your group. Have a friend who’s a whiz at organizing? Or another who’s an amateur painter? Those skills can come in handy.
Step 4: Send a Bomb-Ass Invite
Get everyone pumped to nest with an exquisite, dare I say, baller invite. Need a template? Here are some solid Paperless Post templates that can be customized to suit a nesting party:
Aerie invite (my personal favorite for a nesting party theme)
Not sure what to say? Try these templates:
General Nesting Party Invite Message
“Let’s prepare the nest for [HONOREE] to welcome the baby! [HONOREE] has requested that we do a “nesting party” instead of a traditional shower. Let’s shower her with our love, our labor, and our incredible Marie Kondo skills.”
She’s All That Nesting Party Invite Message
“[HONOREE] may *be* all that, but she can’t do all the nesting work on her own. That’s where we come in. Like the She’s All That soccer team, we’re going to show up and [LIST TASKS FROM THE NESTING PARTY ‘TO DO’ LIST] so that she’s ready for the party (aka the baby’s arrival). ”
Rosie the Riveter Nesting Party Invite Message
“It’s time to roll up our sleeves and answer the call of duty. [HONOREE] needs our help preparing the nest. It’s time to show her, “Nest, we can!” Grab a bandana. Put in your best victory curls, and let’s show [HONOREE] how well we can [LIST TASKS FROM THE NESTING PARTY ‘TO DO’ LIST]. ”
A League of Their Own Nesting Party Invite Template
“[HONOREE] and fam need our help making A Nest of Their Own. Let’s pitch in and [LIST TASKS FROM THE NESTING PARTY ‘TO DO’ LIST]. We’re all for one, we’re one for all. We’re all nesting.”
Step 6: Make It a Party, Not a Mess
Arguably the trickiest step. How do you bring the fun without leaving a mess for the honoree (aka pregnant person) to clean up?
Bring drinks: Wine, soda, etc. Bring drinks, paper cups, and a bag for garbage. That way, you can stay hydrated (or get lit if that’s the vibe) without leaving a trace.
Order food: Pick a place you like for delivery. Paper plates and all that jazz. Leave no trace.
Make the guests clean up: Ask everyone to pitch in. Remember you’re there to help, not create a new mess. Leave no trace.
Nesting Party Ideas: Chores to Give Your Friends
The chores you assign at your nesting party can vary widely, depending on your needs. Here are some ideas to get you started:
Cleaning: Deep clean carpets, dust the ceilings, or tackle other heavy-lifting cleaning tasks.
Room Organization: Assign a team to sort, organize, and declutter a particular room.
Furniture Assembly: Have a few handy friends? Task them with putting together any flat-pack furniture.
Decorating: Hanging pictures, setting up a nursery theme, or painting an accent wall can enhance the mood of a space–and save the guest of honor a backache.
DIY Projects: Simple home improvement tasks like painting a wall or installing shelves can make a big impact.
Meal Prepping: If you’re preparing for a time when you’ll be too busy or tired to cook, having friends batch prepare and freeze meals can be a lifesaver.
Remember to match tasks to your guests’ abilities and interests, and always have a plan B for those who might prefer to provide support in other ways.
Nesting Party FAQs
-
The terms "nesting shower" and "baby shower" refer to different aspects of preparing for a newborn's arrival, while "nesting day" and "nesting" are related concepts often discussed in the context of pregnancy and preparing for parenthood. Let's break down each term:
Baby Shower: A baby shower is a traditional celebration aimed at helping expectant parents prepare for their newborn's arrival. It typically involves friends and family gathering to offer gifts, support, and well-wishes for the parents-to-be. The focus is on celebrating the upcoming birth, with activities like gift-giving, games, and sometimes revealing the baby's gender.
Nesting Shower: While not as commonly referenced in mainstream discussions as baby showers, a "nesting shower" could be interpreted as a more specific type of gathering or activity focused on helping the expectant parents prepare their home for the new arrival. This could involve organizing the baby's nursery, setting up safety measures around the house, or even meal prepping. Unlike traditional baby showers, which focus more on celebration and gifts, a nesting shower might be more practical and hands-on, helping parents-to-be get their home ready for the baby.
-
The term “nesting day” is not widely used in a formal sense but could refer to a specific day dedicated to nesting activities. It might be a day when expectant parents, along with friends and family, focus on preparing the home for the baby, such as setting up the nursery, organizing baby clothes, or deep cleaning the house.
-
Nesting refers to the instinctual behavior that many expectant parents experience, typically in the later stages of pregnancy. It involves a strong urge to prepare the home for the new baby, such as cleaning, organizing, and decorating. Nesting is thought to be driven by a combination of psychological and physiological factors and is seen as a natural part of preparing for parenthood.
-
Nesting can start at any time during pregnancy, but it often intensifies in the third trimester, as the due date approaches. However, the urge to nest varies from person to person; some may feel the need to start preparing early in their pregnancy, while others may not feel the urge until closer to their delivery date. It's important for expectant parents to listen to their bodies and not overexert themselves, ensuring they remain healthy and well-rested for the arrival of their newborn.Item description
-
If you’re throwing a party during pregnancy, you might throw a baby shower, sprinkle (for a second child), or a push party (which focuses on celebrating the birthing person). If you’re hosting a party after the baby arrives, you could do a sip and see or a pamper party (to celebrate the new parent and give them a rest).
-
No, gifts are not necessary at a nesting party. Instead of a physical gift, guests are asked to give a couple of hours of their time to help prepare the home for baby.